Why Kitty is a Vegetarian
by Electric Fire
Summary: Well, have you ever wondered why Kitty is a vegetarian? Well I wrote this sillyfic to explain it! Beware I make fun of Kitty--I like her, but she is fun to make fun of! FINAL CHAPTER IS UP!
1. The Plot

Okay, just warning you, I make fun of Kitty alot in this sillyficIts not like i don't like her or anything, but she is so much fun to make fun of!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men :( waah! I do own, however Aira McCarthy, my OC!!  
~~Why Kitty Pryde is a Vegatarian~~  
  
Kitty? Kitty? Where are you? Jean called out.  
Up here! Kitty was up in a tree- literally!  
Come down! Its dinner time and we are having guests!I can't! I'm too scared to come down!  
Jean sighed. Kitty always was climbing up in trees even though she knew she would be too scared to come down! She's just like a real cat! Jean thought, then called out,   
BAMF! At your service Lady Grey! Kurt said in a mock bow, What doth thou need your humble servant for?Ya, English 2.Kitty's up a tree.Oh right! And she's also up the creek without a paddle, no? I heard that joke, Jean....'  
No, she really is up in a tree!  
Kurt looked up the tree, and saw Kitty there, Oh! Hi Kitty!DON'T YOU HI' ME WAGNER! I HEARD YOU SAY THAT I WAS UP THE CREEK WITHOUT A PADDLE WHY WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU......  
Kurt looked at Jean, I'm not getting her! Why don't you see if Aira can do it? And with that he bamfed away.  
Jean took another deep breath and yelled,   
Aira was there in a flash, At your service Lady...Yeah, yeah, English 2, I know! Kitty's up a tree!Oh, and she's up the creek without a paddle right? We were all there when Scott told us that joke you know....No! She really is up in a tree! Aira looked up the tree, and was about to say Hi Kitty! When Kitty burst out in rage at her to.  
UP THE CREEK WITHOUT A PADDLE AM I??? WHEN I GET DOWN THERE....._Give her a paddle_. Aira used her voice commands to make a paddle appear out of nowhere and have Jean give it to Kitty.  
THATS NOT THE LEAST BIT FUNNY MCCARTHY!Strange...I thought it was...Would you please just get her down from there? Jean said in a slow whine.  
Okay, but she has to promise not to hurt me! Kitty yelled from her perch high up in the tree.  
All right then! Aira rubbed her hands together then placed them on the trunk of the tree, I command you tree _SHAKE HER OFF YOUR BRANCHES!_  
The tree began to shake violently the second the voice command was issued. Kitty gave a scream and came falling off her branch. Jean used her telekinetic powers to lower her to the ground.  
Uh, Aira?I thought you were going to command Kitty to climb down out of the tree!Oh where's the fun in that??  


* * *

  
Well chapter 2 is coming up next! Aren't you wondering who is coming over for dinner? And why Scott is telling those jokes about Kitty, and well, everything about this silly story? Ah, tough! You have to wait until I think of an ending....wait! I didn't say that! (Makes Jean erase all your minds) Ah, well, later days!  
  
Kurt BAMFS her away!  
-Elf


	2. The Dinner Guests

  
Here is the second chapter! What will happen? Woooo... Ah well, here it is!  
  
-Elf  
  
~~~The Dinner Guest~~~~~  
Aira shrugged her shoulders and walked away.  
Where's Aira going? Jean asked Kitty.  
I, like, don't know! Who's coming over for dinner anyhow?  
The Brotherhood.  
The Brotherhood??  
Yeah, ever since Mystique disappeared we figured they hadn't had a nice home-cooked meal so....  
No time to chat! Lance is coming over? Omigod! I gotta get ready! and with that, Kitty took off running to the mansion.  
Why do I even bother? Jean sighed.  
~~~  
  
Hey Aira! Are you going to cut out on dinner with us? Bobby Drake asked her.  
Nah, I figure I should stick around.   
Your loss, Airy! Bobby said, How bout you Jubilee?  
Jubilee said and stuck her toungue out.  
Too bad.. Bobby turned around and walked away, Jubilee marched off sulking in the other direction.  
Why don't I ever get asked? Jamie whined.  
Aw come on shrimp! You get the better deal!   
What do you mean Aira?  
At a dinner with all this action, who would want to miss it?  
I don't get it...  
Aira sighed, You will, shrimp, you will....  
  
~~~  
  
Ohmigawd! I can't find my new dress!  
Calm down Kitty, its not like its the end of the world, ya know, Rogue had just about had it with Kitty.  
Yo! Can I come in? Aira knocked on the door.  
Have you seen my new dress? Kitty nearly bowled her over as she entered the room.  
In case you haven't noticed, I don't do dresses, She said lightly, pointing at her cargos and sweatshirt.  
Still! Have you seen it?  
We-ll, I did see my dog run out the back door with some old rags, but I highly doubt that....  
Kitty pushed her out of the way and went running by.   
Ah swear! She is really driving me up the walls! Aira, you wanna go out with Risty and me?  
Sorry Rogue, but I've gotta stick around and make sure Bluey is alive when Kitty gets him back.  
Yeah, yeah.. Rogue left the room and Aira got up off the floor.  
Ow..my butt totally kills!  
So, what's your master plan, Aira?  
Aww shaddup Jamie.......  
  
~~~  
Meanwhile at the Brotherhood.  
  
Were going to Kitty's place for dinner? AHHHH! Lance was running around wildly and the whole house was shaking.  
Lance, plleeasse! I'm trying to talk to Amara, but I can't hear a word! Tabitha screamed at him as she had one hand over the phone.  
Is this place going to have food? Cause if it doesn't I'm not going.  
Blob! The whole reason they invited us over was food, you lummox!  
You don't have to insult me Pietro!  
What are you going to do about it? Blob me to death? I'm too fast for you to get me anyhow!  
Toad groaned, If it wasn't the chance for a homecooked meal, I'd have skipped town by now....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
Well, you just have to wait for the dinner now won't you? Hoo hoo this should be a riot! Especially since it is obvious Aira is planning something!!!  
I'll answer one question though: Why Aira is letting Jamie in on this. Well you see, when Aira was younger she was seperated from her brothers. She sees Jamie as a sort of little brother to her and thus treats him like it! Well, until next time,  
  
Calor anor na ven! (May the sun shine on your road)  
  
-Elf


	3. The Dinner Preparations

Okay! Now we have the plot, the guest...prepartions are almost complete! Now let's see what Aira is up to....  
  
~The Dinner Preparations~  
MCCARTHY! MY DRESS IS RUINED!! Kitty was livid that Aira's dog, Bluey, had destroyed her dress. Now Kitty was on the warpath.  
Time to get out of here, come on Jamie! Aira began to run away, but Jamie stayed put.  
  
  
Aira used her voice command to get Jamie to follow her all the way out the door and into the lobby.  
She muttered, once they were a good distance away, Sorry bout that, but I couldn't leave you there to face Kitty's rath!!  
  
Aira sighed, sometimes it took a little while for the effect to wear off.  
I'm heading to the kitchen, maybe Ororo can think of a way to help train my puppy...  
~~~  
Meanwhile....  
  
I'm coming up so you better get this party started! Tabitha was grooving to one of her favorite songs as she got some hair gel for Lance. Honestly, Lance, I don't see why you have to get all dressed up. I mean, its not like you and Kitty are having a candlelight dinner. Even Aira's gonna be there..  
Yeah, yeah..stop reminding me! It took me half an hour to get those delinquents out of the house so I could get ready!  
Well, you're ready now!  
  
~~~  
Mmm! Man, Ororo! This dinner looks good. Aira leaned over to snitch a roll, but Ororo smacked her hand.  
You have to wait until its time to eat!  
  
Anyway, did you hear Kitty screaming earlier? I hope everything's alright...  
Trust me, everything will be fine except me...  
  
Long story! Gotta go! Aira dashed out of the room and into the lobby just as Kitty came down the stairs.  
Kitty called.  
Oh no! Aira turned around and was ready to run, but Kitty called out again.  
Don't run! I'm not angry anymore!  
You aren't? Aira whirled around and saw what Kitty was wearing. Ahh! My best dress pants! What have you done?  
Kitty had obviously been doing some sewing. She had cut off the legs of Aira's pants and sewed them up to make a skirt.  
Now we're square, right?  
Aira couldn't speak. She had saved up her allowance every week for those pants. This meant **war!**  
Kitty laughed and went back up stairs.  
The door-bell rang, Aira rushed to answer it. The brotherhood was on their doorstep.  
Hi guys! Come right on in!  
Aira...Where's Kitty? Lance asked quickly.  
Aira thought up something really good, really quick, Upstairs putting her make-up on..you know how long that takes!  
Lance took only a little bit of surprise at this. Tabitha however stepped right over to her. You guys have a fight?  
Aira answered simply.  
  
Anyhow, follow me, and I'll lead you to the dining room. Aira said with a smile.  
Dining room? You mean all fancy stuff? Blob asked rudely.  
Umm..I guess if that's what you want to call it... Aira paused and said, Well then, follow me!  
~~~  
War? This is getting good, no? To bad Jamie is still phased...we could get him a better part...But Aira is only getting started!  
  
Until Next Time!  
~Elf


	4. The Dinner

~The Dinner~  
Aira lead them all to the dining room. They looked restless, so she thought up a conversation starter.  
Um..is Wanda coming later on?  
Pietro said flatly.  
Oh..that's..too bad...  
Whoa! Look at all this food! Blob was amazed at the spread that was before them. There was duck, pork, roast beef, hamburgers, chicken, salad, soups, chowder, and for dessert there were cakes, muffins, and cookies of all kinds. The light bulbs were dimmed and the room looked lovely.  
The others should be down in a minute, if you would like to take a seat.  
Where's Kitty sitting? Lance asked eagerly.  
I dunno... Then she muttered, By you, I'm sure.  
Ah! Hello, Lance, Pietro, Todd, Tabitha, and Fred. Its a shame Wanda couldn't join us.  
Oh! Hi Professor! Aira said smiling as he wheeled into the room.   
Hello, Aira, would you kindly fetch the others?  
Aira didn't need to, because they all were stomping down the stairs already, with the exception of Kurt, who bamfed.  
They're here already? Why didn't you tell me Aira? Kitty came running into the room. She carefully surveyed the chair next to Lance and sat down.  
What's the matter, Kitty? Checking for _mini time bombs_? By mixing her command into her voice, Aira had turned the chair into a mini time bomb that was waiting for her to set it off, and Kitty was never the wiser.  
It's the perfect plan.. She muttered.  
What is?   
Aira gasped and turned around to see Jamie standing there. Never mind! She said quickly, Is everyone here?   
Yes, Aira. Professor X said, Would you do the kindness of saying grace?  
Uh sure.. She thought up a prayer really quick.  
Thank you for the food we eat.   
Thank you for our house with heat.  
For our friends and family we thank thee,  
Please watch over them and me,  
Thank you for our house with heat,  
Thanks a lot, now lets eat!  
A wonderful prayer Aira, Professor X. said, as Logan snorted with either delight or disgust, Aira couldn't tell which, Now as she said, lets eat!  
The room filled with chatter and the passing of food. Aira however only took some mashed potatoes and rolls.   
Why aren't you eating much? Jamie asked her.  
I'm not that hungry and besides.. she added in a lower tone, I'll be able to start the action better!  
Jamie gave her a interested look, but she said, You'll see! and he dropped the subject.  
Earlier, Aira had stuck some slightly-cook raw meat. It wasn't bloody, but it sure would gross anyone out! Especially Kitty!   
About 20 minutes into the meal, Aira decided it was time to Get the party started and liven things up a bit. She looked over to the light switch in the corner of the room and concentrated on it, all while pretending to have an itchy eye.  
She whispered, _Blow a fuse_. and the light switch crackled for a second and poof! All the lights turned off. Kitty screamed, but Aira spooned some mashed potatoes into her spoon and launched them through the air aiming directly at Kitty's face.  
she muttered and the lights came back on, just in time for them to **SPLAT** all over Kitty's face.  
Evan was in heaven! FOOD FIGHT! He called out, and in seconds, the fancy foods were flying through the air. Professor X didn't even bother to try and stop it. He muttered something about ..let them work it out... and wheeled himself out of the room.  
Aira dove under the table laughing hysterically.  
So this is what you were plotting! Jamie, who had already taken cover under the table, said.  
Yeah, but I didn't think it would be this good! She grabbed the raw meat and aimed at Kitty. Fire in the hole! Hit the deck! And with that, Aira ran out of the room without looking back.  
~~~  
I understand that you and Kitty had a fight, Aira, but do you really think this was the best way to resolve it?  
Aira was sitting in Professor Xavier's office.  
Well, it worked pretty well.. I mean she'll think twice about cutting up my new pants, and leaving her clothes out where my puppy can get them.  
Undoubtly she learned her lesson, but I'm sure you could have stopped your dog from doing that, and not began a food fight because you were angry at her.  
Aira shrugged, But I didn't use my time bomb chair...  
What's that??  
Uh, nothing..I'll be going now! See you later Professor! Aira stood up and turned to leave, I have some unfinished business.  
~~~  
  
Jamie turned to run but Aira dodged in front of him.  
You blabbed.  
Umm.. I didn't!  
You told Bobby, who told Jubilee, who told Amara, who told Professor X!  
  
You know that say, He who laughs laughs last. She scolded, Jamie looked confused..  
What's that mean?  
Aira smiled,Even I don't know, squirt, even I don't know. So! You wanna go tap into Kitty's telephone wire?  
No. She won't be speaking on there. Ever since that piece of raw meat hit her, she's been trying to get the blood stains out of her shirt.  
Ah. Then she won't be eating meat anytime soon, now will she?  
I highly doubt it Airy, I highly doubt it.  
So squirt, shall we volunteer to make meat fondue for dinner?  


~~~~~**THE END**~~~~~


End file.
